Tenderloin Lullaby

by Baby Pigeon

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1.
03:26
2.
02:22
3.
4.
02:36
5.
03:21
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7.
02:32
8.
02:15
9.
03:34
10.
02:27
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02:12
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about

This album was recorded in the Tenderloin district of San Francisco at 620 Eddy in my ground floor, facing-the-street apartment between 1997 and 1999. It was originally released as a handmade CD with a camouflage crocheted jewel case cozie limited to 100 copies. It has now been re-released by Weird to Pop records.

credits

released January 1, 2000

everything made by baby pigeon

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all rights reserved

about

Baby Pigeon Seattle, Washington

baby pigeon is alan wiley with occasional guests.

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Track Name: Doom Inside
you look at me across the room and
i feel doom inside
cuz i can't look you in the eye and
i'm too shy besides
i know that it would never work and
i'm a jerk and trite
for never letting anyone in
anyone inside

i wish that i could let you in on
everything i hide
the other boys would blur and I'd see
only you and i
you'd wash away the wasted years of
all the tears i cried
but now i sit here lonely cuz it's
only in my mind
Track Name: Someone
I want someone who's not afraid to be a freak
Who's not scared of me
I want someone I can cry on if my day is sad
And I'll be someone he could lie on if his head hurts bad

I want someone I can lean on and he'll lean on me
And if he needed me that's where I'd be
That's where I'd be
I swear I'd be
Track Name: Silly Disco Song
I thought you'd wait a million years just to hold my hand
So unaware of all the flames that you had fanned
I know you thought a thousand times "he doesn't care"
But now i find that I'm the one thinking "love's not fair"

Cuz I'm alone and you've found another
And those flames, well, now they're smothered
I love so far from New York City
But I don't want your pity, no

You know I've always lived my life from day to day
But now you've seen I'll give it up anyway

Cuz I'm alone and you've found another
And those flames, well, now they're smothered
I love so far from New York City
And I don't want your pity now

I know there's no excuses for the way I've been
But I'm still learning what love's like between two men
And now I wish I could go back and start again
But wishful thinking's all I've got in the end

Cuz I'm alone and you've found another
And those flames, well, now they're smothered
You live so far from San Francisco
Sounds like a silly disco song
Track Name: Mistake #416
This is the last song I will ever sing for you
This is the last time I will ever look at you
Or look for you in me

I feel lost and alone
I need to hold a hand
I'm standing next to no one and I don't think i can stand
Stand another day
Of living life this way
It's the last time

These are the last words you will ever hear from me
This is my last chance for sanit

You make me feel alone
but i need to hold your hand
You've made me feel like I need more than two legs just to stand
I'll stand another day
But I won't live life this way
It's the last time, again
Track Name: Run Away
Before you wake I'll be chasing stars
Gone away afar from here
It hurts my eyes to see you play the role
Selling off your soul in parts

It makes you cold and then I feel alone
I know I should have known this too
And I can't take hating how you feel
Wondering what is real and lies

It's time you knew where I'm coming from
I don't want to run from you
But if I'm here I won't be alive
My light will have died for you

And I won't stay, this is killing me
That's no way to be in love
And I don't know what I'm gonna do
The thought of leaving you hurts so much
Track Name: The Pounding Fist
He was the one I was waiting for but when I opened up he slammed the door and I know I'm probably better off without him
(lovey lovey love, birds and flowers come, nestle in your hair)

BUT NOW I'M LYING HERE QUIETLY WATCHING THE POUNDING FIST THAT I WISHED COULD BE LOVE AND I'M CONFUSING MYSELF CONSTANTLY OVER WHAT I COULD POSSIBLY HAVE DONE

He always said I gave him more but when it comes to love who's keeping score? When I close my eyes I know I'll dream about him
(he always said that, I could never get what the problem was)

BUT NOW I'M LYING HERE QUIETLY WATCHING THE POUNDING FIST THAT I WISHED COULD BE LOVE AND I'M CONFUSING MYSELF CONSTANTLY OVER WHAT I COULD POSSIBLY HAVE DONE
Track Name: In My Sleep
I can't pretend that I don't see what I've become
A lonely, sad, frustrated boy without anyone
I can't pretend I didn't make it all happen
I'm always waiting for the night when the day is done

And I dream of kisses on the cheek from a boy I see
I'm wasting all my wishes in my sleep cuz he's with me

We live together in a house that he keeps clean
It doesn't matter what we do because we're free
We want for nothing but a place where we can be
Outside of my head and into reality

And I dream of kisses on the cheek from a boy I see
Just let me waste my wishes in my sleep cuz he's with me
Track Name: I Can't Wait
I can't wait beside the telephone for your ass to call
I've locked my door because I'm out again hunting for a fall

you knew I'd be here waiting for your call
you knew I'd stay here like I've got no life at all
but now i'm leaving betcha never thought I'd leave
but now I'm walking
now we're talking)

I FALL SO LOW FLYING SOLO

I'm not the kind of guy you leave alone standing by the wall
Especially if I look in a zone like i'm gonna fall

now my hair's blowing in the wind i feel so cool
cuz now i'm learning that when it comes to me i rule
and now i'm leaving all my messy past behind
cuz now i'm walking
now we're talking

I FALL SO LOW FLYING SOLO
Track Name: So Cold
I don't know what you're afraid of -- success I guess?
Living out your self-fulfilling prophecies is what you do best
It's not like I make these decisions beforehand -- ok maybe I do
"Destroy what you love before it can happen"
is all that makes sense to you

SO COLD, SO FAR TO SEE
YOU'RE FAR TOO FAR AWAY FROM ME
OUTSIDE THE WALLS CAME DOWN
I SEE THAT WAY IS GONE

And I never imagined that I could feel safe in my fear
knowing you're there with me
And I know you're just flattered
but flattery spreads like disease, making my head spinny
And it doesn't matter if you get it from her or from me
we both hold the key you need
So now that it matters it's a long way down

you gave it to me
she gave it to you
now i've got it bad and i'll pass it on
you know what you do, it comes back to you
i'll learn someday

I wish you knew what you were afraid of so you could see it through
Because I just made this decision beforehand
and I don't know what else to do
Track Name: Starlight
I'll admit I'm not content looking at my feet
But daylight brings this burning chill and I can't stand the heat
If I were old I'd move the sky
But only at night when you pass me by

Why must you leave me in the morning starlight?
I will stay behind and wait
Until I see you again tomorrow night
I can't deal with this day

Waking up is always hard but with you it's worse
My eyes open and you're gone I wish time would reverse
I roll over and close my eyes
And I pretend that I'm the darkened sky

Why must you leave me in the morning starlight?
I will stay behind and wait
Until I see you again tomorrow night
I can't deal with this day
Track Name: Stop Him
He don't know what he's saying
I don't know how to stop him
From making this decision no one should make
From making the biggest mistake.
He don't know what he's saying
I don't know how to stop him
Track Name: Abandoned/Failure
He said he would stay with me forever
I know he's a liar too, today
But still all I want is to believe it
And I wonder what that makes me

My feet on the street hurt so much
I'm walking alone through the crowd
And still all I want is to believe him
But I'm not dumb, at least not right now

too much time, way too much time
visions of empty half-lifes, dirty secrets
scare me by really happening
so I turn the TV off and close my eyes

Now I know that nothing lasts forever
It's not like we'd always stay the same
But then when he'd kiss me I'd believe it
Guess I'll be holding myself tonight again

laid out lies speak themselves
just like celibate idiots make up drama
when their lives become so uninteresting
that they turn the TV off and go outside